Something I've learned about gospel learning is that it never ends. We will never, and can never know everything there is to know about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Atonement, or even the purpose of our life on earth. The bits and peices the spirit teaches us over time prepares us more and more to return to live with our Father in Heaven, but we have to keep progressing every day to get there.
As you see, I actually titled my email this week. Reason why? I felt so strongly this week, more than ever, that Heavenly Father knows me better than anyone else. Too many things aligned and too many prayers were answered to think otherwise. I've made a habit of looking for present and past "evidences" that have lead to "assurances" of faith. Studying a talk by Elder Bednar, "Seek Learning by Faith" and Mission Leadership Council this week lead me to take note of these.
There are hard times to come. There is much work to do. There are many choices to choose. I want to remember the answers and evidences I've received on my mission. I want to have these come to mind quickly when, in the near future, I am faced with doubts or fears. I encourage you all to do the same. I'm almost certain this is why we are asked to keep a journal :)
One experience I'll never forget:
Scrolling through potential investigators in our area book, we came across a family that looked pretty promising and hadn't been visited for about a year. We drove up, knocked on their door, and they graciously invited us in. We had a little small talk and found out their work, family, and religious background. A few moments later they began to tear apart the Book of Mormon, our faith, and our purpose as missionaries. As they spoke, my soul hurt. This hurting wasn't just a surface pain, but a deep pain. I wasn't hurting from doubt or what they said, but I hurt because there was nothing in our power to help them because they did not want to be helped. I could best describe it as us being the lifeguard looking out into the ocean and seeing sharks surrounding this family and they don't see the sharks or think the sharks will hurt them and them not wanting our help. It was a hopeless feeling.
Earlier in my mission I had another experience with an anti man. I don't remember if I told you about him, but when he spoke to us, it hurt my testimony, for a few minutes I played around with the doubts that came to my mind. It hurt me for a couple days. I have seen the nature of my testimony mature. I didn't even toy around with the ideas they were throwing out, yes I listened and processed it, but I did not for one minute let it falter my faith.
A couple days prior to this experience I was reading an article in the March ensign about doubts. It definitely prepared me for this experience. This quote came to my mind:
“I can live with some human imperfections, even among prophets of God—that is to be expected in mortal beings. I can live with some alleged scientific findings contrary to the Book of Mormon; time will correct those. And I can live with some seeming historical anomalies; they are minor in the total landscape of truth. But I cannot live without the doctrinal truths and ordinances restored by Joseph Smith, I cannot live without the priesthood of God to bless my family, and I cannot live without knowing my wife and children are sealed to me for eternity. That is the choice we face—a few unanswered questions on one hand versus a host of doctrinal certainties and the power of God on the other.” Tad R. Callister, Sunday School general president, “What Is the Blueprint of Christ’s Church?”
Doubts will arise, but as we follow Heavenly Father through our faith and evidences we've seen, assurance will come. I love you all so dearly and pray for your successes every day!
Love,
Sister Fredrick
Sister Fredrick
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